Dear Pastor's Wife,
We're having a lot of friction in our household as I want to attend church regularly and my husband does not want to. He won't budge from the sofa and says it's his only day to relax. What can I do?
--Frustrated
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Dear Frustrated,
It is very normal to experience frustration when people do not behave in the way we would like them to and desiring your spouse/soul-mate to accompany you on your spiritual journey is admirable. However, we often forget that God, Himself, grants every one of His children free will, so who are we to do any differently? In I Peter 3:1-2 we are told to defer to our husbands so that if they are not a believer yet, they might be won over (….and I really like this part….) ”without talk” by our behavior when they see how pure and patient we are. In other words, it is not our job to get our husbands to church, it is our job to be loving and patient and serving and honest and kind and generous and respectful and…and…and…well, you get the idea! We must be like JESUS to them, without “preaching” at them. Oh, they will notice if we are like this and they will most likely consider all this loving behavior a temporary tactic to try to get our way with them. It may take weeks or months or years for it to sink in that your respect and love for them is NOT to get anything in return. My suggestion is to: 1) PRAY daily that God would change your husband’s heart, 2) PRAY daily that God would keep your heart humble and respectful and fun toward your husband, and 3) kindly invite him to join you every Sunday and then attend on your own, thanking Jesus that one day you WILL have you husband by your side in worship! I wish I could give you a guarantee that this will change your husband’s behavior. I can’t. I CAN guarantee that if you follow this advice from scripture, YOUR heart will be changed….and for the better!
From someone who is still working on applying this scripture, as well!
The Pastor’s Wife
We're having a lot of friction in our household as I want to attend church regularly and my husband does not want to. He won't budge from the sofa and says it's his only day to relax. What can I do?
--Frustrated
********************************************************************************
Dear Frustrated,
It is very normal to experience frustration when people do not behave in the way we would like them to and desiring your spouse/soul-mate to accompany you on your spiritual journey is admirable. However, we often forget that God, Himself, grants every one of His children free will, so who are we to do any differently? In I Peter 3:1-2 we are told to defer to our husbands so that if they are not a believer yet, they might be won over (….and I really like this part….) ”without talk” by our behavior when they see how pure and patient we are. In other words, it is not our job to get our husbands to church, it is our job to be loving and patient and serving and honest and kind and generous and respectful and…and…and…well, you get the idea! We must be like JESUS to them, without “preaching” at them. Oh, they will notice if we are like this and they will most likely consider all this loving behavior a temporary tactic to try to get our way with them. It may take weeks or months or years for it to sink in that your respect and love for them is NOT to get anything in return. My suggestion is to: 1) PRAY daily that God would change your husband’s heart, 2) PRAY daily that God would keep your heart humble and respectful and fun toward your husband, and 3) kindly invite him to join you every Sunday and then attend on your own, thanking Jesus that one day you WILL have you husband by your side in worship! I wish I could give you a guarantee that this will change your husband’s behavior. I can’t. I CAN guarantee that if you follow this advice from scripture, YOUR heart will be changed….and for the better!
From someone who is still working on applying this scripture, as well!
The Pastor’s Wife
